


To Fight or Surrender

by Sophiathescribe



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Action, Capture, Daredevil - Freeform, Discouragement, Hope, Hurt Matt Murdock, Matt Murdock Angst, Mystery, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-04 13:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17305907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophiathescribe/pseuds/Sophiathescribe
Summary: Matt Murdock was many things: a vigilante, a lawyer, a friend, and—on occasion—a douchebag.He was an incredible fighter, but his nighttime scuffles had become more a series of heroic acts: they had become a distraction. He put on a mask every day, and not just to fight. Until one day he is captured, far from home, with no idea where he is or how he got there. He realizes he has to overcome himself before taking on the world...if he can make it out alive.





	1. Distractions

Matt Murdock was many things: a vigilante, a lawyer, a friend, and—on occasion—a douchebag.

At least, that’s what Foggy was thinking as their night for drinks and pool games was once again rudely interrupted by Matt running off in a hurry, no doubt having heard a cry for help somewhere. Foggy sighed. What was he supposed to do? He knew it was selfish to wish that he could spend more time with his friend, because that would mean Daredevil wouldn’t always show up to save the day. But why couldn’t Matt accept that he can’t fix everything? Wasn’t their friendship worth saving too?

Matt seemed to be disappearing more often, and for longer periods of time. Foggy had a good guess that his Daredevil cover was becoming a method of distraction, for him to take his mind off his own life by saving the lives of others. It was a noble cause, but it was taking its toll on Matt’s mental health, whether or not he would admit it.

Daredevil had other things on his mind. He’d heard a cry from a nearby alley. A young boy, maybe 12 years old, was being beat up by some thugs.

“You think your dad’ll pay up if we keep on kicking you?” Said a gruff voice.

“My daddy doesn’t have money!” The boy cried.

“Then it looks like there won’t be much of you to send back, then, will there?”

Daredevil pounced from the shadows and tackled the big guy to the ground, and with a few punches, he was knocked out. These brutes were sloppy. They would never be able to take him on. Two more men went down with a few well-placed kicks and punches. The boy was badly bruised but stumbled to his feet, and Daredevil yelled for him to run.

“Not so fast,” interjected one of the remaining men. He grabbed the boy and held him by the throat. Daredevil reached for the kid, but with lightning speed the man pulled out a gun and took a shot.

Pain exploded in his upper arm, but he managed to use his other hand to wrench the gun from the man’s hand and use it to whack him hard in the head. The brute fell to the ground, and another kick sent him into oblivion. The kid had run as soon as the man’s grip had been released, and was hopefully safe for the time being.

Daredevil sat on the ground and clutched his arm. It was sluggishly bleeding, but at least he didn’t need to pull out a bullet; the close proximity of the gun meant that the bullet went right through, alongside nicking the bone and hurting like hell. He was only a few blocks away from his apartment, but the distance felt like several miles as he made his way back and thought about how many painkillers he’d have to take in order to sleep that night.

The bullet had made a clean hole, and he managed to stitch it up despite his trembling hands. He’d promised Foggy that he would always check in after a night of vigilante-ing, so he dialed the number and waited.

“Hi Matt. You still alive?”

  
“I’m ok. Saved a kid, apparently his dad owed money to some thugs. Such pricks; beating a kid to teach his father a lesson. That’s playing dirty.”

“Yes, because you never beat anyone up.”

“That’s different.”

“Did you get hurt?”

Darn.

“Um...just a scratch.”

“Nice try. Bullet or stab wound?”

“Bullet. I have it taken care of. Have a great night, pal. I need some rest.”

“Like hell you do.”

Another day in the life of Daredevil. He felt as though he were trapped in the movie Groundhog Day. Going through an exhausting routine every night only to do it again...and again...and again...

But without his mask, he felt as though he was nothing. A lawyer, yes, but a blind lawyer, and he had to play the part too. A friend, yes, but a crappy friend who didn’t deserve to have any friends at all. All he could do was fight. It was his life. He wore so many masks in his life, and sometimes he wondered if it was all worth it. These thoughts played in his head as he fell into a restless sleep.

When he woke up, he wasn’t in his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find Matt Murdock’s character fascinating. Aside from being physically blind, he is blind to what matters and to the people who care for him.


	2. Different

_One_ _week_ _earlier_ :

 

“You’re different.”

 

Matt frowned. “Beating you at pool is of no difference to me.”

Foggy smiled, but it was half-hearted.

“I think you know what I mean.”

“I can’t say that I do.”

Matt made another perfect shot, and two more striped pool balls fell into the baskets. Foggy put down his pool stick and stared at him.

“Listen to me, Matt. You’re different. You’ve changed. I don’t know what’s happening to you, but I don’t like it. You’re drifting, somehow.”

“I’m just going through a rough patch. I can handle it.”

“That’s all I ever get from you. ‘I can handle this, I can handle that’. For once, trust that I can handle supporting you as a friend. Apparently you don’t.”

“I do need you. I may be Daredevil by night, but I will always be your friend.”

“That’s what you’re not seeing! A while ago, you were Matt Murdock, who played the part of the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. Now you’re Daredevil, who plays the part of Matt Murdock. You’re fading, Matt, and this Daredevil character is taking your place. I don’t want to lose you, but I’m afraid I’ve already lost. Like right now, I can tell something’s bothering you, but you wouldn’t tell me what, would you?”

Matt’s pool stick struck the white ball so violently that the striped ball it hit flew off the table. He worked his jaw and spoke stiffly.

“I failed.”

“What?”

“Last night, when I was going to sleep, I heard a little girl scream. I was so tired, Foggy. I felt like I couldn’t take another step, but I had to help her.” He paused. “I didn’t make it in time. I got there moments too late. A ran to the girl’s side, and tried to tell her that she’d be alright, I had her, I would protect her and get her home safe.” His voice cracked and he took a deep breath to regain his composure.

“She was crying and crying, saying, ‘I want to go home, I want to see mommy.’” He squeezed his eyes shut.

“She died in my arms.”

Matt was generally good at shutting out emotions, but suddenly he found himself crying silently. Foggy was stunned into silence, but after a moment he led Matt to a table in the corner and ordered him a beer.

“Matt...there’s something you need to learn, that you should have gotten into your head a long time ago.”

Matt took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “And what’s that?”

“You can’t save everybody.”

Matt felt a twang in his chest. No, he couldn’t save everyone. But what use was a hero who let people die? He would never be satisfied, he would forever be unable to see past his mistakes and failures. Guilt would eat him alive for as long as he walked on earth. He lived to save people. He died a little when he didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at updating. Sorry in advance.
> 
> Please let me know if you like this and I’ll be sure to keep it going.


	3. So it begins.

The air was damp and heavy. 

There was the scuffle of rats’ feet, and the buzzing of a lightbulb overhead. 

A nervous heartbeat around the corner. The smell of sweat. 

He was not alone.


End file.
